look upon my quirks, ye mighty, and prepare

angela_la_la @ 2008-07-24T10:56:00

2008-07-24T15:00:07Z

If there is anyone reading this who knows Word for Mac 2008, please message or email me!! I am tearing my hair out with frustration because the online help consistently directs me to select menu items which I do not have.

Please no jokes about how much this product sucks; I know that, but I have a deadline.

angela_la_la @ 2008-07-22T09:54:00

2008-07-22T13:55:16Z

Hey folks! My tiny company is NOW HIRING both a Programmer and an Interface Developer. We're a really small shop, but well established, and the working environment is great (I honestly love my job and coworkers) and learning is really encouraged here. We're in Center City Philly. We just lost two people (one got accepted into a school in Copenhagen, and the other moved for his girlfriend's job) and we have more work than we know what to do with. We are a mainly open-source shop and the benefits are pretty comprehensive. Degree not required, just experience and smarts.

Feel free to send a link to anyone you know who might be interested!

PHP Programmer

We are an open source shop seeking a sharp, reliable PHP programmer to develop highly interactive websites for our clients.

We are looking for full-time, in-house programmers who have experience with constituent relationship management, content management systems (custom developed or customized), e-newsletters that target specific constituencies, fundraising tools, and online communities/forums. Our sites tend to be heavy on interactivity and our clients often require integration between the website and third-party web applications or other software.

You should know PHP, HTML, CSS, MySQL, AJAX. Experience with Drupal, other open source CMSs, or development frameworks like Cake a big plus. Experience integrating web applications with Salesforce is ideal.

We are an established and growing web development company that focuses on the nonprofit market. We have national and regional clients, but we are a small and flexible shop with many learning opportunities for the right person. Our workload is overflowing, and we need to bring multiple developers on board immediately.

We offer a competitive salary, health/dental/vision, paid vacation/holidays, training, and a great environment.

Please send a resume with salary requirements and references.

Interface Developer

We are an open source shop seeking a creative professional with a passion for designing and implementing attractive and sophisticated interfaces. You should be well-versed in accessibility standards, know how to optimize layouts for cross-browser compatibility, be familiar with customizing CMS themes, and experienced in developing site templates from scratch. You should have an eye for design and can produce attractive, original layouts as well as implement designs provided by an art director. Our sites tend to be heavy on interactivity, so attention to detail and usability is essential.

You should know CSS, HTML, XHTML, DHTML, and XML. Experience with Drupal or other open source CMSs a big plus. Proficiency with Javascript and AJAX also a plus. Working knowledge of PHP and PHP templating preferred but not essential.

We are an established and growing web development company that focuses on the nonprofit market and is looking for a sharp, detailed-oriented developer. We have national and regional clients, but we are a small and flexible shop with many learning opportunities for the right person. We offer a competitive salary, health/dental/vision, paid vacation/holidays, training, and a great environment.

Please send a resume with salary requirements and references.

You can email your resume to my username at livejournal.com and I will give it to my boss immediately, or email me and I will give you his contact info. (No calls though. Jeez.)

angela_la_la @ 2008-07-21T16:36:00

2008-07-21T20:44:56Z

Tragically misunderstood song lyrics, randomly selected from my brain, Part 1:

Billy Joel's "Piano Man": They spit at the bar and throw bread in my jar / and say 'man, what are you doing here.
The actual lyric is only one word different--the barflies sit rather than spit--but what really amuses me is that when I was a kid, I thought he was referring to literal bread rather than figurative. It seemed to me like the song was about how much the drinkers despised Billy Joel, mocking him ("what are YOU doing here?") and throwing crusts of bread at him as tips. My conjecture was that, since the whole song was about people whose dreams would never be realized, Mr Joel himself was sympathizing because he, too, would never have a chance to be a real "piano man".

On a related note, I sang another lyric of his as you had to be a big shot, titcha [teacha? Tisha?] for quite a few years before realizing it was just "did ya".
Steve Miller Band, "Jet Airliner": big ol' Jed and Lino, don't carry me too far away
Clearly this was before I ever heard the title of the song.
The Eagles, "Take It Easy" I'ma runnin' down the road trying to loosen my load
This song is, without a doubt, about constipation.
I also used to believe there was a Bruce Springsteen song called "10th Avenue Freakout". I know now there is not, but I still sing that version of the lyrics to myself whenever someone cuts me off on the way to work.

Spent the weekend with my family, mostly. My niece is going to be 5 soon, holy crap! She's pretty adorable. I can't deal with her constant noise production (although I sympathize, because as a child I also spent hours testing out what my voice could do), but she talks so much better it's a pleasure to communicate with her. The funniest thing she did this weekend came after we'd eaten dinner. My mother had baked a blackcurrant/apple pie earlier in the day. Claire went out to the kitchen and came back looking alarmed. She tugged on my sleeve: "Excuse me! I have to tell you something! Did you know there is a GIANT PIE in the other room?! You better go look at it." (read: cut me a nice big slice). I also overheard her leading her same-age friend Anna around the house looking for me because "Auntie Angela is THE BEST at tying [My Little] pony ribbons." Hee hee! I'll go ahead and add that to my resume now. :)

angela_la_la @ 2008-07-12T12:12:00

2008-07-12T16:22:22Z

You know, I think this is a true rarity: I love my landlord. (Not in the romantic sense.) He's a nice guy! He came over today to look at the basement situation. He not only loaned me a ladder ("for as long as you need it!") so that I could change the dastardly hall light, but he knocked $50 off my rent because he'd lost my rent check and needed me to write another. He chatted with me for a while and we worked out the details of me finally having my own lease (my current one still lists James), and he told me he had no interest in raising my rent in the foreseeable future. So hurrah!

I let him know I was looking to buy a house in the next year or so and he told me to just give him two months' notice. Which is reasonable. So if anyone out there might be interested in a 2-bedroom townhouse for under $600 when I leave, let me know and I'll keep you in mind when I am going to move.

bwaaaaahahaha

2008-07-09T20:51:15Z

Awesome comments from this post:

"Does anyone call [their period] 'Charlie'? I have a friend who does that, but I just can't do that. Whenever I say 'Charlie,' I feel like the VietCong is inside my vagina."

and

"I would buy Google tampons. I totally would. They would probably come with like six gallons of free storage."

angela_la_la @ 2008-07-06T21:32:00

2008-07-07T01:44:29Z

I had a mostly dandy weekend. Friday morning, Independence Day, I woke up ridiculously late (nearly 1pm!!!) and scurried out to a party. Well, relatively speaking. I didn't get there until almost 5. I ate burgers which were absolutely fucking delicious. Later on I went to a friend's office to watch fireworks from the 37th floor. It was amazing. While I have been in skyscrapers in other cities, I have actually never been higher than the 15th floor in Philly! I really enjoyed soaking in the familiar view from an unfamiliar perspective. We got to see both the Penn's Landing and Art Museum fireworks. Afterwards I had ice cream and basically rolled home, comically full.

Yesterday I had more people over to my house! There was more barbecuing although my stupid stupid gas grill is still not clean enough to use. Horrifying. The charcoal grill was, as usual, totally suboptimal. Later on, the bridal posse stopped by and I was introduced to Pimm's Cups, which are deadly delicious. So refreshing! Fruity gin, lemonade, and cucumber!!

Today I did laundry and drew pikturs. Sometime between 5pm and 7pm the basement flooded. I didn't lose anything that bad this time, with the exception of ten years' worth of pen-and-ink drawings, basically every one I've done during that time. All turned into a sodden mass of wet grey tissue. Like my brain. So I cried some over that. Bleh.

Work again tomorrow. I almost forget what that is.

angela_la_la @ 2008-07-01T23:16:00

2008-07-02T03:25:50Z

This Long Trail Belgian White is gooooooood. Very tart and fruity and malty and herbal all at once. Basically it tastes like a witbier with lemon squeezed in it, but better. I... I might like it almost as much as Ommegang? Definitely as much as Hoegaarden or Allagash, and more than Blue Moon or Celis. Or Sam Adams White, blech. I didn't have dinner until almost 11, so now I am exhausted and tipsy.

So someone told me the other week what I needed to do so that I didn't have to restart my router every time I shut down the computer in order to get a wireless connection. I forgot who, though, and what I was supposed to do. So if this was you (or you know why this is happening), please tell me? Thanks.

Zzzz bed.

angela_la_la @ 2008-06-20T11:42:00

2008-06-20T15:52:36Z

Woke up in Philly this morning, going to sleep in Canadia tonight!! With additional stops in Somerville/Boston.

Some last links before I leave:
Cats that look like Wilford Brimley
The gayest video game ever. EVER
This totally reminded me that I want to have a double feature of Wargames and Hackers when I get back.

See you in eight days, cats and kittens. Bumpkin Bumpkin BUMPKIN!!!!

angela_la_la @ 2008-06-18T14:11:00

2008-06-18T18:12:05Z

DIY pizza oven!!

angela_la_la @ 2008-06-12T13:47:00

2008-06-12T18:01:23Z

Today's robust laughter-causation module.

angela_la_la @ 2008-06-10T16:16:00

2008-06-10T20:19:18Z

I almost miss the days of spam with humorous sender names. Now it's all just real names. Where is my Disastrous Sarcophagus? My Magenta Calumny?

I got two good ones this week, though: Busybody Naphthyl and Breadnut Titmouse. I've been sort of giggling about them all day.

angela_la_la @ 2008-06-06T10:39:00

2008-06-06T14:40:00Z

Dyke March tomorrow, 3pm @ 11th & Pine. Who's going?

angela_la_la @ 2008-06-05T13:58:00

2008-06-05T18:14:20Z

Craigslist score of the year: a $400 gas grill for only $30. (It had four burners inside like that one, but it lacks the extra side burner). The seller's caveat was "it needs a good cleaning", which, holy shit! It sure does! I have no fucking idea what these people did to this poor grill to make it so incredibly filthy. I have the feeling they messed it up last year and sold it to avoid having to clean it. Which, hey, if you have more money than sense, I have more sense than money! It's going to take a few hours of hard work to clean, but hey, I saved $370 (well, say $340 when you factor in the Carshare van). The only way I can describe the mess in the grill is it looks as if they set 5 lbs of lard on the grates and turned it on. It's so disgusting. The whole inside is coated in grease, the bottom has about two inches of solidified fat in it, the cabinet underneath is filled with a layer of rancid oil... oof.

I'm excited though because 4-burner grills are perfect for indirect cooking, like, say, RIBS. Or smoking! And the individual elements are small enough that I won't use much gas if I just want to throw a couple of chicken breasts on there for a weeknight dinner.

Yay grill! I eat so much better in the summer when I can cook food outside--I hate having the stove on with no air conditioning, so I end up eating a lot of cereal or takeout to avoid heating up the kitchen.

angela_la_la @ 2008-05-29T13:22:00

2008-05-29T17:23:47Z

90% of the shit people yell out their car windows at me can be boiled down to, "I have judged you on your sexual attractiveness and this is my opinion!"

In other news, I chopped all my hair off. Yay! I will miss my braids (which had gotten quite long) but not the uncomfortably hot neck I get all summer. I look a lot younger. It's kind of startling.

I've been having very detailed science-fictiony dreams the past few days. In one I was a psychotherapist in a society where everyone had this sort of limited telepathy. People could communicate thoughts to each other when they were in special pools. We lived in a small "village" which was in an airplane hanger-type building. Huge trucks, 3 or 4 stories high, would race by on a regular basis, and people often got killed. It was my job to exorcise the pools of residual thoughts and memories left behind by people who had died. Other than this problem, though, most people spent as much time as possible in the pools, relieved that they didn't have to rely on words.

My relationships to people are changing and it's hard.

I just picked a bunch of wild roses and put them on my desk. Pretty.

angela_la_la @ 2008-05-28T12:00:00

2008-05-28T16:03:33Z

Two wireless questions, for those in the know:

1) When I start a call on the cordless phone (landline) at work, it turns off the volume on the music on AirTunes. WTF? Is this an intentional feature? I get lots of static on my handset.

2) Every time I restart my computer at home, I have to go upstairs and restart the router as well, or else I can't connect. Is this an IP issue? Because it's kind of annoying.

do it because you love me

2008-05-22T15:18:16Z

x-posted from blessedjess (edited slightly)

Petition to remove Zucker from DSM-V Gender Identity Committee
As you probably know, The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) sets the diagnosis standards for mental health practitioners world wide. The current DSM-IV is under review and will be replaced by an updated version in 2012 (The DSM-V).

The Sexual and Gender Identity Disorders Task Force Chair is Dr. Kenneth Zucker. He is notorious anti-transgender activist infamous for utilizing reparative therapy (a strict enforcement of traditional masculinity on boy children) to cure gender-variant children.

Zucker is especially focused on prevention of transsexualism, considering gender transition to be a "very bad outcome".

Zucker is become the darling of groups like the Catholic Education Center and the National Association for Research and Therapy on Homosexuality (NARTH), which have highly promoted his work among their homophobic and transphobic constituencies.

If we don’t want this transphobic guy and his buddies making decisions about how the next generation of mental health professionals will view and treat transgender people, then follow this link and sign the petition to get him removed.

http://www.thepetitionsite.com/petition/412001300

There's no place for religious bias in medicine. How many more trans and queer kids have to commit suicide before we acknowledge that aversion and "reparative" therapies just don't work?

angela_la_la @ 2008-05-21T12:27:00

2008-05-21T16:29:53Z

If a problem has an unambiguous solution we say it is cut and dried. Does that mean the opposite is... uncut and wet? Whoa.

angela_la_la @ 2008-05-20T16:10:00

2008-05-20T20:14:39Z

Mein Wochenende in outline format:

Friday
1. left work early to go to Frida Kahlo exhibit
  1. it was amazing
  2. I got a museum membership to encourage myself to go back more
  3. I bought a mounted print of "The Two Fridas"; "Self-Portrait with Monkeys" was too expensive
2. rained all day
3. stayed up until 3am, wtf
Saturday
1. slept really late, quelle surprise
2. vacuumed some of my house
  1. borrowed a vacuum from my folks
  2. mine's broken
  3. man, my floors are super disgusting
3. received call to join Cody for an impromptu lunch
  1. Yay!
  2. Tony Luke's!
4. rode bike to:
  1. Goodwill:
    1. Roald Dahl Omnibus, $0.99
    2. (tried on many straw hats but all looked awful)
    3. color-coded clothing racks extremely dissatisfying
  2. Monster Pets for holy-crap super-expensive cat fud
  3. Lowe's:
    1. hacksaw
    2. bungee cords
    3. rolls of window screening
    4. window screen framing (4 feet long)
    5. misc other screen-related crap
  4. Target:
    1. bike lights
    2. batteries
    3. shampoo
5. carried all of the above home on my bike
  1. even the 4' long pieces
  2. I am le rock star
Sunday: did nothing!
Monday: back to work
Today: raining again, so probably nothing.

angela_la_la @ 2008-05-12T16:26:00

2008-05-12T20:26:43Z

Dear Bonnie Tyler,

Given the choice between "light in [your] life" and "love in the dark", I'm not sure you made the right choice. What's so wrong with love in the dark?

Sincerely,
Angela

[unfortunately "pigs in space" joke here]

2008-05-08T17:32:16Z

Calling all science fiction/fantasy readers! Discussion time!

So I've been thinking... are there any fat people in the future? I am having trouble thinking of characters in SF/fantasy who are fat. It seems like a rarer find than people of color, queer characters, or non-decorative women.

Help me come up with examples! Let me know your ideas!

angela_la_la @ 2008-05-05T23:19:00

2008-05-06T03:20:24Z

Sweet irony: my Ravelry invite came while I was away at S&W.

Friend me! Same as my LJ username.

never has my icon (bicon?!) been more apropos

2008-05-06T02:54:24Z

NEW BIKE NEW BIKE NEW BIKE YAY!!!

Cat shown for scale.

Custom wheels and puttin' it together courtesy of pbrmeasap.

Messy living room courtesy of whoa hey I should clean

angela_la_la @ 2008-05-05T16:42:00

2008-05-05T20:50:47Z

Ahahaha I only just now made the connection that the dude who played Dumbledore is the same dude who sang MacArthur Park! Man oh man. That song pretty much leaves me incoherent with giggles.

Coworker: "Who left the cake out, Voldemort?"

angela_la_la @ 2008-05-02T11:04:00

2008-05-02T15:07:31Z

Some Philadelphia anecdotes for you on this fine morning:

Someone just drive-by-cussed my work. He sped past my office in a car and yelled "SHIIIIIIIT!!" out the window as he passed. I guess it's a non-violent alternative to shooting?
I saw a woman yesterday who was riding a bike with an enormous cage mounted on the front of it. Inside was a baby gorilla. I stopped in my tracks to gape for a moment, then realized it was just a super-realistic fake baby gorilla. Freaked me the fuck out. I guess this was some kind of art project?
I had a very stupid argument with a fairly clueless cashier at Superfresh. I was buying some lengths of cheesecloth which were marked $1.50 and were 50% off. When the cashier scanned them, they came up as $2.50. He then took $0.75 off, because it was half of $1.50. When I pointed out it had scanned wrong, he insisted that the discount was right, because 75 cents is half of $1.50. "But it scanned as $2.50!" "Well, I took off half of $1.50 like the tag says!" Sigh.
A woman on the subway yesterday was wearing a leather jacket with an abstracted African-style painting of a woman and flowers on the back. At some point, someone had realized the abstract lady in the painting had exposed breasts, and had clumsily painted a bra on her with white house paint.
I found a sticker on the bus which reads: "HAIR is cleaned in boiling water for 6 hours and undergone chemical processing. GUARANTEE 100% hygenic [sic]. no 'LIFE louse' exists. Students can use this manikin free of lice panic." Well! I for one am extremely relieved that this company is dedicated to wiping out the entirely preventable scourge of Lice Panic. I am a little spooked by the implication that they do not guarantee that you won't find dead lice, though.

In a few hours I'll be leaving for MD Sheep & Wool. Hooray for the first camping of the year!

angela_la_la @ 2008-04-23T23:41:00

2008-04-24T03:42:33Z

Via Bikes was a two hour waste of my time. Dicks.